There is nothing quite so disappointing as the run-up to Halloween in Britain. I could go on about the complaints from natives that it’s “too commercial” or the stores that have nary a Candy Corn,  and the paltry selection of ghoulish decor (trick-or-treating isn’t the unquestionable norm here), but nothing sums-up the Brits’ general misunderstanding of this cherished American festival more than a recipe from this week’s local paper. It’s so painfully misguided, brace yourselves.

You Can’t Beet this Halloween Pie

“Take a leaf out of the American book and create a Halloween pud for trick or treating kids. They’ll love its sticky blood-red innards.”

Yes, my friends, the British think that we share beetroot pie with our children on Halloween (or would want to?). Perhaps we dole it out on the stoop alongside the Snickers and Milky Ways. Whatever the implication (and this from someone who adores beets), I’m just so sad for my new English friends. Of course you can’t miss what you’ve never known. But beets? Points for creativity and culinary horrors.